I help you be the best version of yourself and show up fully— without perfectionism or self-criticism.
There’s a tradeoff we unconsciously make— we sacrifice our authenticity for what we think is belonging. We either feel like we’re not enough, or like we’re too much.
Well into my 20s, I would have gladly sanded off all my rough, angsty, frustrated, weirdo edges, just to feel “normal.” The saddest part of this bargain is that it resulted in making myself very quiet.
Perhaps you can relate?
So many of us make ourselves energetically small, quiet, “good,” and play whatever role we are given as perfectly as possible. We believe it’s safer on the sidelines, because no one can hurt us if we don’t try anything we aren’t already good at. We try really hard to minimize what we need or want from others, believing if we can quiet the inner voice of discontent, we can maintain our relationships — no matter how dysfunctional— which feels preferable to being alone.
When I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my late 20s, she introduced me to the Enneagram.
Around the same time, I got involved in advocacy work that involved door-to-door canvassing, where I heard story after story about how people’s suffering interfered with their capacity to be active in our community. I started thinking about how I could help on a larger scale, and decided to pursue counseling as a vocation.
We all need help becoming our truest, best, most enlivened selves. I’ve had to dive into my own therapeutic growth work to become an effective counselor, and I’ve had many excellent teachers along the way.
Everything I learn, I use. I’m constantly adding tools to help myself, and you.
One of the most powerful tools I’ve uncovered is my own inner compass.
The best path to transformation has to include finding what is deeply and authentically yours. As similar as we might be, we’re also incredibly unique. What works for me might not work for you.
Years ago, I read a couple of advice columns that have always stuck with me, and recently, at 43 years old, I got my first tattoo inspired by them. It’s a sharp knife, surrounded by mountain laurels (the flowers I’m named for). It reminds me to bring my whole self along… the sharp edges, the blossoms, the tension of being both tender and fierce. It helps me remember the power of authenticity, and that it takes time, effort, and support to find the most genuine version of ourselves.
You don’t have to get a tattoo to work with me. But in my office, I won’t let you be anything but your whole, messy, wonderfully complicated self.
MY VALUES
a little more about me
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I’m almost always rotating through a sparkly water, half-caf coffee (or a decaf vanilla latte), and my regular water. I also love a good cup of tea before bed—favorites are Bedtime, Steep & Mellow, or Breathe Deep.
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I love music. Nothing can reflect or shift my mood better than a good song. A few favorites: boygenius, The National, Patty Griffin, Sylvan Esso, Santigold. Check out my playlists on Spotify for current listenings.
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Current: check out my Goodreads account
Favorites:
My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem
The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut
Hard Laughter by Anne Lamott
The Wisdom of Your Body by Hillary McBride
The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller